New year — a bit of an update on me
I’ll evolve gradually and this year I’ll try to be consistent with my writing. I’ve decided to start journaling every week and dedicate 2024 a year of meditation and writing.
I used to think that posting on public about my feelings and intricate matters explicitly will cause me heap of problems in the future. However, I’ve come to the realization that it might be helpful to embark on a thoughtful journey, pondering the intricacies of my existence. I want to carefully write down my imperfections, the moments I’ve overlooked, and the commendable aspects of my character, all in an open space where my contemplation won’t be swiped away or lost. Journaling brings many benefits, and down the road, what we write can be turned into a book. It could be a personal story or a collection of essays — in case I write something worth sharing and valuable. At least it would help me process my emotions and negativity in a permissible, contained way. In the following years, I aim to cultivate qualities I currently lack, like the courage to let go of things that sap my spirits and to step into roles where I may doubt myself, believing I’m not competent or good enough.
Nobody is innately good at anything from birth; skill is something we acquire with hard work and practice. I should therefore be kind with myself and recognize my progress as well as my potential for prosperity and development. For the coming year 2024, I’ll change situations that are within my control and nurture my favorable sides. It’s essential to possess the courage to take on risks and responsibilities, even in the face of concerns and self-doubt. Without such bold steps, progress in life may remain elusive. I want to liberated from some of the delusions that are causing me more anxiety and restlessness than I should be. Hopefully, my chaotic and intense writing will reveal the parts of myself I was unwilling to discover all along.
This year has been quite eventful, marked by various transitions in all the rites of passage. Considering the milestones I had this year, including graduating, reuniting with my family after 1014 days of separation, traveling together, relocating back to my home country, and securing employment, it was full of fond memories and achievements. Also, overwhelming emotions and sadness accompanied my departure from the life I had built over the last three years of independence, and the sense of loss extended to the connections with people who still occupy my thoughts often, tinted this year with a hint of bitterness. However, amidst these transitions and farewells, I find solace in the fact that I’m now creating memories and shaping the childhood of my sunshine. For the short yet precious years of her childhood, it’s essential for me to be present, leaving my mark on my younger sister’s memory. Life is truly beautiful, adorned with its turmoil, ups, and downs — each twist and turn adding an extra layer of preciousness to the journey called life.
